Thursday, January 7, 2010

I started this blog with an idea of journaling my trip Through the Bible in 90 Days.  While I may blog some about that journey,  the past few days have given me something else to process through.  My mom is beginning a season in her life that is scary for me.  She has been experiencing major issues with her short term memory, to the point where we have made an appointment for evaluation at The Center for Healthy Aging in Indy.

I am scared, mad, worried, heartbroken.  In a nutshell, this just stinks.  I lost my dad to the horror of cancer, my mom is all I have left (besides Joel and my kids).  I do not want to lose her like this.  I do not want to lose her inside of herself.  I do not want my kids to see their grandmother come to the point where she does not know them.  I do not want to go through this season.

My usual response to stuff like this is to retreat, denial is my friend.  Not really.  This verse came to me this morning,    Psalm 94:18-19,  "When I said, 'My foot is slipping, your love, O LORD, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul."  It is easy for me to feel my foot slipping.  If worry were a spiritual gift, I would have scores through the roof.    But this verse grounds me.  I need that support the Lord can give.  I need that consolation that brings joy in spite of......

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